Am I a hypocrite for hiding my period books?
Unpacking shame, sensitivity, and the paradox of doing this work while still healing
By Brett Buchert · May 19, 2025
Am I a hypocrite?
I ask as I catch myself trying to hide my books about menstruation as I prepare for an upcoming workshop on menarche all about unraveling from the shame we carry about menstruation...sigh.
I've been spending much of the last couple weeks at a coffee shop near my house reading and researching for the workshop.
The energy is good here. Lots of conversations to eavesdrop on when I lose focus and cute dogs and babies to ogle at. The coffee is overpriced, but I've decided that my creative flow and productivity is worth the $5 investment. (Right?)
Each day I bring a new book. [Check out my PMDD book list here]
First it was Red Moon by Miranda Gray. Fairly inconspicuous, despite it's bright blood red cover and sketches of naked goddesses throughout.
And then I brought Her Blood is Gold by Lara Owen, followed by Blood, Bread, and Roses by Judy Grahn. I catch myself trying to hide these books covers from the other coffee shop patrons. My head says it's not okay to read books like these in public - books about BLOOD. What will people think?
A little incongruous given my job and my soul's mission is about periods and PMDD, about bringing these “taboo” topics into the open, talking about them. No shame! And yet, I still hide. I get tongue-tied when I tell people what I do for work. Why can't I just be a teacher or a lawyer? No explanation needed.
It brings to heart a memory of little me in 6th grade trying to unwrap her pad as quietly as possible, mortified that the others would hear. Consistently terrified that the blood would seep onto my jeans. They can't know I have a period. Who? The other young girls in the bathroom also trying to noiselessly unwrap their pads and tampons.
I don't really think I'm a hypocrite.
I'm simply a sensitive soul, a woman in recovery from the mainstream narrative that periods are gross, annoying, and not to be mentioned. The narrative I was indoctrinated into. A narrative that many people still believe. A narrative that a part of me still believes too.
But this is why I do the work I do! Because that is simply a narrative. It's not the truth.
And the truth I've come to believe is that periods are beautiful. Our blood is powerful. It connects us to our life-creating power as women. Not to mention, that I find my periods a time when I'm my most creative, birthing my most profound ideas. And my premenstrual weeks when my true thoughts and feelings are the most clear to me. (Yes, that can cause some troubles, but it's also my best time to do research for workshops and courses.)
And I just imagine if I'd come of age with this perspective and this narrative...
Obviously, we can't go back in time, but we can go back in memory.
And maybe, just maybe, we can create a different world for the girls of tomorrow, our daughters and nieces. Who will unwrap their pads without shame (or better yet, honor their bleeds with adorable cloth pads), who will revel in the unique gifts and powers of the different phases of their cycles, and read books about blood at coffee shops and won't even consider hiding the cover.
